Here I Am

After college, I lived for a year in Romania. I learned a bit of the Romanian language in that time–the language spoken today that most closely resembles Latin. Quite the claim to fame that language has, eh?

One phrase I learned while living there has stuck with me all these years. It looks like this in Romanian:  “Eu sunt aici, la dispozitia Ta, Doamne.” I heard this phrase whispered in soft, melodic voices in that country that became my home for a year. In English, it reads, “Here I am, at Your disposal, Lord.”

As I bring myself to meet with God–Almighty, Creator God Himself–I sometimes arrive with words tumbling headlong over one another, spilling out of my mouth. What do I think I’m doing? I’m in the presence of God–I should BE STILL. And He quiets me as I quiet myself, and I say, “Here I am, at Your disposal, Lord.” The striving and straining cease; He ministers His peace to me. He meets with me as I say, “here I am.”

And He says, “Here I am.” He says, come to Me, because I know you need rest. Come to me, because when you draw near to me, I am near to you. He gives me this invitation everywhere.

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In the majesty of ancient oaks, in the beauty of flower blossoms, in the driving, pounding rain–and in the gentle, quiet shower–He shows me His character. In delicate flowers, colorful against green grass, He shows me His longing for us to seek after Him, to hunger and thirst for Him–to pursue Him and to take notice. Those tiny blooms invite me to gaze upon God in awe and wonder.

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In the beauty of His creation, there is an invitation:  to listen, to rest, to fellowship with Him. All around us, God whispers, shouts, sings, “Here I am.” When I hear that invitation, I want to respond–whether in Romanian or in English:  Here I am, at Your disposal, Lord. 

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